It's Good To Talk About It

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Re: Being open

From: Alan Badmington
Date: 08 Oct 2004
Time: 17:50:53 -0500
Remote Name: 81.77.128.192

Comments

Hi Albert, Please accept my apologies for the delay in responding to your post. Things really have been hectic during the past few days with public speaking engagements. As a result of my considerable involvement with PWS during the past few years (both in person, and via the Internet), I have found that many appear dissatisfied with the actions of their parents in relation to their stuttering behaviour. Our past experiences (particularly in childhood) play such an important part in influencing the type of person we become later in life. I think it is important for us to recognise that, in the majority of cases, our parents do the best they can to help us. However, most do not have an understanding of stuttering, or how it affects our lives. Some join Internet groups in an attempt to gleen information; others obtain advice/guidance from stuttering associations or speech and language therapists/pathologists; while some simply do their own thing. I am well aware that customs, attitudes, approaches, therapies and resources differ from country to country. Your ISAD article makes it clear that interest in stuttering has increased immensely in China during recent years. However, it takes time for this to filter out into the public domain. Even in western countries (such as the USA and UK), where stuttering has been on the agenda for a considerable period, there is still a huge ignorance about the subject. The average man/woman on the street knows very little. As you know, I undertake an extensive programme of talks to community organisations in an attempt to increase public awareness. However, when I address them (and conduct a question and answer session), I find that very few are well-informed, even though someone in their family has speech difficulties. As you say, your mother loved you - and I have no doubt that she did what she considered appropriate, based upon the limited knowledge at her disposal. I think it would harsh for us to criticise our parents in such circumstances, although we have a right to question their actions. My paternal grandmother (a very intelligent woman), who was living with us at the time, intervened when I first displayed dysfluency at about the age of three. She attempted to correct me; she drew attention to my lack of coordination - with disastrous results. If she could have forseen the consequences of her ill-advised actions, then I am sure that she would have behaved differently. I don't hold any ill-will towards her all these years later because I know that she felt she was acting in my best interests. It is so heartening that your communication skills have improved greatly since leaving home to attend university. I spoke to you at the World Congress in Australia and was very impressed with your command of the English language. Finally, you draw attention to the reluctance of children and teenagers to talk openly with speech therapists. As I mentioned in one of my earlier responses, persons of that age frequently have difficulty communicating with adults, even when they do not stutter. There is a need to build up a trust and understanding before they will be forthcoming with information about their speech difficulties. Hopefully, we shall meet again at the next World Congress in Croatia in 2007 (or, maybe, before). Kindest regards Alan


Last changed: 09/12/05