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From: Lynne Shields
Date: 06 Oct 2004
Time: 10:32:13 -0500
Remote Name: 199.217.208.172
Dori, I will second Doug's suggestions to you, and add that I do believe that a good fluency therapist can, indeed, help your son and family to respond to all of the needs (mechanics, psychological and emotional). You're correct that the therapist cannot do this alone. It takes the work of the child and family to actually make it happen. And, it takes time, since a child's needs change over time as they mature. Understanding the mechanics of talking is important because a child needs to understand the normal talking process and what parts of the body are involved, so he can become aware of what he is doing when he stutters, when he is fluent, and when he is making adjustments to manage stuttering. There is no magic to the speech tools that your son may be learning now or will learn in the future. They are intended to help him modify the way he uses his speech mechanism. An informed consumer is a good consumer. Knowing why one is doing something can help a child see the value of doing the work it takes to master the new skills. You are correct when you say that just telling a child it doesn't have to be hard won't do the trick. Supportive therapy and supportive parents like you can, over time, help a child feel strong enough to try letting the stuttering come out without all the struggle and pushing that seem to be part of his current reaction to his stuttering. It appears, from you description, that he really does not like the stuttering, and he is putting out alot of physical effort to try to stop it, resulting in the secondary characteristics you are now seeing. It is hard to give that up. Therapy can be directed both toward teaching a child management techniques, and learning to understand that when they do stutter, it is O.K. and that they can stutter in a way that involves less struggle and tension. That there is a choice in the matter. A good friend of mine, Susan Short, who is a speech-language pathologist as well as a mother of a young adult son who stutters, told me long ago that she has worked hard to have a stutter-friendly home. She has always been supportive of her son learning to manage his stuttering, but also works to be sure that her son feels O.K. with stuttering when it happens. I think that is a really important concept for families to think about for themselves. Your concerns about the lengthy drive to a good therapist are real and need to be considered--you do have to think about how it impacts your whole family. Could you possibly consider with this therapist having sessions once every two or three weeks? I have worked successfully with several children for whom weekly sessions are not viable. The parents attended therapy sessions to learn how their child was working on his or her speech, and we worked together to develop reasonable goals for the days between sessions at home, making sure the home times to work on speech were fitting into the family schedule. The therapist can work with you and your son to come up with things that your son is willing to work on regarding his speech. Maybe he doesn't need to focus on management techniques, or speech tools, right now. Maybe he needs some educating about stuttering, information about what other kids think, or to learn how to stutter more easily (without the tension that results in the head turns, etc.). The Stuttering Foundation of America has a new video entitled, "Stuttering: For kids, by kids". I'm ordering a copy for myself. You may want to contact them and get a copy for your son and the whole family to watch. If you don't already own a copy of "Sometimes I just stutter", a short book for kids aged 7-12 about stuttering (also available from the Stuttering Foundation of America), I highly recommend it to you. It is really written for children and can be read as a family. These are a few things that you can do at home, in addition to keeping an open line of communication with your son about his stuttering. I wish you the best as you work out how best to help your son. You are a great mother to him! Best regards, Lynne