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From: Lynne Shields
Date: 21 Oct 2004
Time: 13:27:34 -0500
Remote Name: 199.217.208.172
Dear Sean, Wow! You've got alot to adjust to, with a move to a new culture, being so incredibly far away from your old friends, and perhaps family, too. I commend you on how well you seem to be getting on so far. I can understand your being reluctant to talk, given your uncertainty about stuttering and how the other students will react to you. It might be helpful for you to keep a few things in mind as you think about how to interact. Generally, American high school kids are fascinated by people who come from another country. Since our country is so large, many kids have not interacted with international peers very often. That is probably going to work in your favor with many of your peers at school. Our family hosted an exchange student from Germany last year, and she also stuttered. She was so worried about how people would react to her speech, but she found, happily, that the students were so excited to get to know her, and they went out of their way to make her feel part of the group. It helped that she joined the volleyball team--the rest of the team members really took her into their group. So, you might get involved with some sort of extracurricular activities as a way to meet a group of people. You also might want to consider being open about your stuttering. When our exchange student met new people, she often told them about her stuttering, being quite matter of fact about it--when she got stuck on a word for the first time with a new acquaintance, she'd say something like, 'oh, you may notice that I get stuck on words sometimes. That's because I stutter, but I eventually can get what I want to say out if you will be patient'. She did not find that she was teased, as she expected. If you do get teased by someone, I think it is helpful to have a snappy comeback for them, to show that they have not gotten the best of you. You can think about how you might like to respond to various types of teasing. For example, if someone mimics you, trying to stutter like you do, you might say, in a joking sort of way, 'gee, you don't do that very well. Can I give you some tips?', with a smile on your face. Another response, if you think that a person who laughs when you stutter really may just think YOU are joking around, might be to tell them, 'you know, I really do have a stuttering problem. Sometimes it is hard for me to get through a word'. You can look on the Stuttering Homepage at http://www.mnsu.edu/dept/comdis/kuster/stutter.html There is a link to information "Just for Kids" where there are some examples of ways kids have responded to teasing, some of which are from older kids. You may find some good ideas about ways to respond there. There is also a link entitled "Just for Teens", where you may find some good information, written by other teens like yourself. Thanks for posting your comments and concerns at this conference. I'll bet there are other teens reading this around the world who have the same concerns that you do. I wish you the best. Regards, Lynne