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From: John Ravenscroft
Date: 13 Oct 2004
Time: 02:52:06 -0500
Remote Name: 195.92.67.68
Hi, Kristy. Re therapy, see my response to Caitlin above. Did my parents and family know how I felt about my speech? Hmmm... interesting question. They certainly knew of the problem (because it was very obvious when I was young) - but I don't think they ever knew quite how much it messed me up. My prime concern for many, many years was to hide my stammer - and the last thing I wanted to do was talk about it to anyone. It was my dirty, shameful secret so I kept it hidden in the dark, where I felt it belonged. I see now, at the age of 50, that this was the opposite of what I should have done. Keeping it secret gave it power: whenever I got into a situation in which the secret slipped out, I felt ashamed, humiliated, worthless etc. Admitting I had a problem would have removed that power - but the 'hiding' behaviour I learned early went very deep. (John)