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From: Lynne Shields
Date: 12 Oct 2005
Time: 11:36:28 -0500
Remote Name: 199.217.208.172
Brianne, This is a wonderful question. I think that a child can develop a feeling of internal control by gaining strategies for managing the situations that seem to them to be out of their control. For example, if a child is feeling helpless because she is being teased, she needs some tools to use to handle the situation. First, she can begin to look at who is at fault when teasing occurs--that it is the one who teases or bullies, not her. What belongs to her is the bad feelings; what belongs to the bully is the shame. With younger kids, I usually phrase this something like, "So I'm wondering, who is the bad guy in this story you just told me?" Secondly, if she can develop what I call a snappy comeback (or better yet, several) for such situations, she is no longer helpless. She is in control of the situation when she responds, "that's pretty mean to tease me. I really don't want to play with you" and walk away, or, "I think you need a new hobby." The child can be engaged in a fun way in coming up with responses to teasing that fit her personality and the situation. An engaged child is one who is taking control. The same kind of work, engaging the child in developing their own strategies, or choosing from among strategies or tools suggested by their SLP, can help to give the child a sense that they can take control of their speech, their communication, and their interactions. Hope this is helpful to you. Regards, Lynne