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From: Bob Quesal
Date: 14 Oct 2005
Time: 10:11:54 -0500
Remote Name: 143.43.201.240
Hi Laura: Thank you for your comments. I think the best explanation of empathy that I have seen is in Joe Donaher's post above in this discussion thread. As Joe points out, people often confuse sympathy with empathy. So, as you are tapping into your empathy, make sure that is what it is - an acceptance of where that person is coming from, not a situation in which you feel sorry for him or her. I have found that having my students do "stuttering in public" exercises and making audiotapes if "fluency shaping skills" often helps them to see that the things we ask our clients to do (that seem so easy) are a bit more difficult when YOU are the one being asked to do them. So, when a client comes to you with a story that seems a bit cockamamie to you, it's okay to think, "I don't UNDERSTAND why someone would do that" (because you probably don't. But you shouldn't think, "I would NEVER do something like that" because if you have never been in that situation, you really don't know how you'd react. I hope this helps. Best Wishes, Bob Q.