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From: John Harrison
Date: 24 Oct 2006
Time: 18:45:27 -0500
Remote Name: 71.135.128.38
Sara.....YOU ASKED.... I was wondering what advice you could give when someone may start to lose their self confidence when it comes to reaching for our intentions instead of expectations. At times I know my intentions and want to fulfill them but then I start to lose hope so to say and get discouraged. .... MY RESPONSE.... It's a matter of practice, and of starting with things that aren't that challenging and working you way up. The real challenge is to stay connected to the present without panicking. Let's say you wanted to get over a fear of spiders. Would you start by picking up a large tarantula? Well, that kind of oversaturation, which is called flooding, has worked with some people. But for most, the panic would be so great that they'd simply close down and retreat from the situation. A better way would be to start by picking up one of those teensy -- and I mean REALLY teensy -- little spiders you might see on the end of a leaf Let it walk on your finger. Get comfortable with it. When it's no big deal, move up the scale and try holding a spider that's just a little bit larger. If that's too scary, go back down one size for a while. Eventually, you'll be comfortable holding the next larger spider. Keep going up the scale until you're ready for Mr. T. You can follow the same path with stuttering. Behind the speech block is a moment of panic, which is what causes many of use to lose consciousness. So practice speaking...and stuttering...in situations where you're very comfortable. And stay at that level until you're ready to move up one rung on the ladder. A good place to practice might be a Toastmasters club, whose members are always very supportive of PWS. After all, every member in the club joined because of some level of discomfort, so they're a very sympathetic lot. Involvement in the National Stuttering Association is also recommended. Chatting about stuttering in a room of PWS is a great starting point. Going to the annual NSA conference is also a BIG shot in the arm. Practicing visualization helps, too. A good place to brainstorm strategies is on the neurosemanticsof stuttering Yahoo group. In my opinion, this group has the most intelligent conversations about stuttering on the net. Here's the address -- http://health.groups.yahoo.com/group/neurosemanticsofstutterin If you keep leading from your intentions (rather than your expectations), then each time something doesn't work, you tell yourself (in the words of Thomas Edison), now I know a little more about the problem. And then find a way to reward yourself for giving it your best shot. If you keep pushing and trying and experimenting, I guarantee you that in time, IT....WILL.....WORK. Hope this helps.....Regards.....John