[ Contents | Search | Reply | Next | Previous | Up ]
From: Russ Hicks
Date: 21 Oct 2006
Time: 15:41:46 -0500
Remote Name: 71.123.208.188
Of all the questions and comments I've seen so far, yours in the most poignant and the most difficult for me to answer directly. But let me try. In my youth I did avoid a lot of speaking just to "hide" (ha!) the fact I stuttered. I would order a cheeseburger and peel off the cheese because I couldn't say h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-hamburger. I would avoid answering the phone because I couldn't say h-h-h-h-h-h-hello. (H's have always been one of my most difficult sounds.) I tried whistling - tweet! -to get out of a block. That didn't work for very long! My secondaries were, in retrospect, rather stupid and ineffective. Today, I have almost no secondaries but my core stuttering is still there and is very noticeable. But it's easy, open stuttering with no struggles. And it hardly bothers me at all any more. ..... But your last question was the one which really got me. You asked, "Was life as lonely for you as it sometimes is for me?" I've thought literally for HOURS on that topic wondering how I could answer it. Yes, it WAS lonely for me sometimes, but to be honest with you not very often. I had quite a few friends growing up, all pretty much geeks like me, and stuttering really wasn't a major focus. But speaking and language are the core of human communication and if the communication breaks down for someone, that person can indeed feel cut off from other people - and loneliness can be extremely common. MY communication breakdown was in the transmission (speaking) phase while yours is the in the receiving (hearing/listening) phase. And it would be very presumptuous of me to give any in-depth advice to someone with hearing impairment because I am NOT hearing impaired. MY solution was to become involved (at least at first) with the stuttering community within the National Stuttering Association. And talking with others with the same problems was a HUGE help to me. I was not alone! Hooray! ..... Is there a support group for hearing impaired people? Surely there must be. Would it help you? Probably, but obviously I don't know. ..... The answer to your question bothered me so much that I shared your concern with a good friend of mine in Toastmasters last night. She's a truly wonderful person - and like you she is hearing impaired! And she said that she would LOVE to talk with you if that is ever possible. My email is russhicks@mail.com and if you'll email me I can get you in touch with my friend. It's all about networking, and if I can link you two together that would be wonderful! ..... Several years ago I had the privilege of meeting Heather Whitestone, Miss America of 1995, who is profoundly deaf. She was - and is - absolutely amazing. We were both at a conference for people traveling with disabilities, and she talked about traveling on airplanes and not being able to hear the announcements over the plane's intercom. I was in awe of how she was able to travel as much as she did (a million miles a year or some such astounding number). I all but fell in love with her. Rarely have I been so impressed with anyone. (And I DID fall in love with the sweetest "helper" dog you can imagine. The dog was with a paralyzed girl and they, of course loved each other, and the dog was an extension of her. But it was all I could to keep from kidnapping the dog! Thank heavens my conscience made me realize that she needed the dog worse than I did. But believe me, it was a close call! <smile>) ..... I'm also a "Survivor" addict. You know the TV "reality" show. And a couple of years ago, there was an hearing impaired girl who was a contestant on "Survivor: The Amazon" who did very well on the show. See http://www.cbs.com/primetime/survivor6/survivors/prof/christy.shtml for details on her. She was also pretty amazing. ..... Wonderful people (and wonderful dogs!) come in all shapes and sizes. Stuttering, deaf, short, fat, blind, blonde, floppy ears, cold noses, you name it. It's your job just to seek out and find these wonderful people! ..... I hope you'll contact me by email, Suniray. I'd be honored to be a part of your life. ..... My very best to you! ..... Russ, my email is russhicks@mail.com