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From: Russ Hicks
Date: 29 Oct 2006
Time: 14:46:14 -0600
Remote Name: 71.123.208.188
Hi Corey, ..... Judy Kuster gave me some extra time to answer your question, so here goes... ..... I wish we had a 1-100 scale to measure "how bad we stutter." So something like a 2 would hardly be any stuttering at all and a 99 would be unbelievably horrible. Then I could say I stutter a 68 and you could say that you stutter a 52 so we could agree that I stutter worse than you. You have no idea how many times I've wanted a simple scale like that! ..... Unfortunately there just isn't a simple scale - and I doubt there ever will be. The reason is that stuttering is a VERY complicated disorder and we all stutter sooooo differently. I know a girl in Detroit who hardly stutters AT ALL, but her life is totally controlled by her speech. (Dr. Bennett knows her too, so get her to tell you about her. She knows exactly who I'm referring to.) ..... However let me propose a slightly different scale that is a little more measurable. It's called the "Struggling" scale. When I was your age (how old are you? Under 15?), I thought I couldn't do ANYTHING until I cured my stuttering. That was the sole purpose in my life - to be fluent. I thought that if I could be fluent, I could conquer the world. So I went to the speech camp that I wrote about in my paper and I worked with every bone in my body to STOP STUTTERING! I hated it soooo much that I would do anything to get rid of it! And sure enough I did find some techniques that helped out - but only for a short time. And when those techniques inevitably began to wear off, and my stuttering came back, I fought like ten tigers to CONTROL my speech and FORCE myself to be fluent. GRRRRRR!!! And guess what? I couldn't do it! No way could I FORCE myself to be fluent. The more I struggled, the worse it got. My jaw dropped down and my mouth became wide open. I jumped up and down on one foot, I hit myself with my hands, I threw my head back and blinked my eyes, I turned red in the face... You get the picture. I was a sight to behold. On that "struggling" scale I would have pegged the meter at a flat 100. People could hardly hear me stutter because they we so distracted by my struggling secondaries! Imagine how you would feel - as a listener - trying to make out what I was saying while I was jumping up and down on one foot, whistling to break blocks, turning red in the face, and sweating profusely. Man...! Let me tell you that was no fun for either of us, myself or my listeners! ..... For the common man, you want to talk about "bad stuttering," that was ME - in spades! ..... But if you really look at my situation, all those things I was doing wasn't really "stuttering" - it was the STRUGGLE TO KEEP FROM STUTTERING! It's been said that we stutter when we try not to stutter. Boy howdy! That was certainly me! And the really bad part of this whole situation was that no matter how hard I struggled, I absolutely could NOT keep from stuttering! That was really depressing. Sound familiar? ..... But over the course of many years, I learned that the more I struggled, the more I stuttered - or certainly the more I APPEARED to stutter. People couldn't understand me because of my terrible struggles - jaw dropping, head jerking, foot stomping, etc. ..... Then I slowly learned that even though I couldn't control my stuttering, I COULD begin to control my STRUGGLING. I won't tell you there's a trick to that or that's its a quick process, but I eventually did learn how to significantly reduce my struggling - and sure enough my stuttering began to become easier to handle. I still stutter, make no mistake about it. When I used to be at 100 on the struggling scale, today I'm probably a 2. I hardly struggle at all any more. My stuttering is very easy and open and almost totally struggle free. I can COMMUNICATE a LOT better than I used to, and I can go into ANY situation and communicate with relative ease. I order the food I want, I order from the Jack in the Box squawk boxes, I ask for directions, I talk on the phone, I give speeches in Toastmasters, I can do ANYTHING that fluent speakers can do. But you listen to me for less than a minute (like maybe ten seconds), and you'll definitely hear me stutter quite a bit. The difference is that it is struggle free stuttering, not filled with lots of secondaries or anxieties. If I stutter, it just comes out easily and openly. And believe it or not, other people don't really care. I know that may be hard to believe but it's true. If YOU struggle with your speech, other people pick up on your struggles a million times more than they do on your actual stuttering. People tend to "mirror" your own feeling towards your speech. If YOU are uncomfortable, then THEY are going to be uncomfortable. If you're at ease, they feel at ease. That's just the way it is. ..... So to get back to your original question (at last), how bad to I stutter? My answer is that I don't stutter very BAD at all - I stutter pretty GOOD! <smile> I certainly do stutter - ask Dr. Bennett or Nicole Pratt or her mom Cynthia. I know quite a few people in El Paso including some of Dr. Bennett's other SLPs. And they can TELL you that I stutter, but very openly and easily. But yes indeed, I certainly DO stutter all the time. And I'll bet they will tell you I stutter pretty GOOD! <smile> ..... If you want to call me on the phone, my phone number is 972-881-1451 at home or 972-489-6169 on my cell phone. Give me a call any time and let's talk! ..... I wish you the best Corey! Ask anyone out there about the NSA conventions we've been to! We've had a blast! If you can attend the one in Atlanta this summer, that would be wonderful! Believe me, you'll have the time of your life! ..... Russ, my email is russhicks@mail.com