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From: Janet Skotko
Date: 08 Oct 2006
Time: 19:46:13 -0500
Remote Name: 65.35.31.28
I think what you wrote about parents and the therapist being involved is so significant and often so difficult. We wish we all lived in a small community! Often you have had pearls of wisdom I've heard repeated from a few parents. Thank you! You've made my time a bit easier. I disagree w/ your quote about "what you believe in them" because often (way tooo often) that 'thinking' turns in to: I expect you to do x, y, z BECAUSE I believe in you, when , in fact, the child (ex.) is not ready for the task. I believe that there is a "readiness time" for all things and that we are not successful just because someone believed in someone (we should wish!). I fear taking that route; I'm so cautious with it! What of the 10 yr old who sat in my office , cried to a wall, and said he wanted to kill himself (no, he did not 'intend' to take that action...I surely made certain!) but it's how he was feeling and letting it out.....now, should I have told the parent to tell him to order his food cuz they believed in him when he was struggling with just being ok with himself. Somewhere in the midst of the black and white, there is a grey that is forgiving and understanding of what others want from us and what we are able , really ABLE, to do ; in that grey area is more of an answer for individual stutters. Do I know? NO! I'm not assuming anything...just would like a discussion or more of an understanding. We have to try to see their light in order to see our own in order to be the right person for them and sig others at the right time, no?