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From: Charlton V. Knowles
Date: 15 Oct 2006
Time: 09:34:35 -0500
Remote Name: 24.231.51.86
Dear John, Unfortunately, Walt Manning has put in his request to relocate to Nassau first, should the opportunity arise. But you are next in queue.I can understand why weight control may be a problem for you, all that good Cajun cooking in Louisiana! I'll have far worse difficulty controlling my eating than controlling stuttering. Anyhow, thanks a million for the insightful response to my letter. I have been thinking and re-reading your response and the analogy is quite relevant.Losing and maintaining weight lost similar to "fluency" maintenance both require changes in behavioural patterns.However, I think "fluency" maintenance is a bit more difficult.All the emotional and cognitive factors that play into stuttering/"fluency"suggest that it requires total committment most of the time.I like to draw the analogy between proficiency in playing tennis (I am an avid player) and stuttering control.To get results the objective is committment, practice, with a view to "controlling" your behaviour.The "successful" tennis player or PWS is one who is able to control behaviour more often than not. The diffenence between a pro tennis player and myself is that he can anticipate his stroke (use of technique) well in advance of hitting the ball at a higher percentage of time than I can. I react to the ball more often than the pro, who interacts with the ball.So his preparation hence ability to control the ball is at a higher percentage. Successful Stuttering modification requires the same or similar degree of anticipation.The bottom line is that in both behaviours, one has to be in tune to the behaviour. In short they have to monitor very well. I am past the stage of expecting perfect fluency just as I am past the stage in tennis of expecting to have control over every stroke in tennis.What bothers me is when I know I can do better than what I am doing either in modifying my speech or playing tennis at certain points in time.The variability in my game and in my modification of stuttering is my source of frustration at times.I am also aware that things happen in the course of a day, week, month, etc. that makes monitoring more difficult than other times. But,I think like you pointed out, how much are you willing to pay, to achieve the results you desire. What sacrifices are you willing to make in spite of these interferences to stay on course? There is no doubt in my mind that I am willing to make "realistic" life/behavioural changes to be more proficient at stuttering control. My committment to re enter therapy so many times over the years, I think supports that, and following every treatment I come back to Nassau with more knowledge about the idiosyncrasies and mysteries of stuttering. I think your suggestion as well as Judith's and Walt's to form a self help group in Nassau is another step in learning to manage my stuttering. Incidently, your communication with me has refired me up again and I am doing much better than last week. Thnaks, Charlton