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From: Peter Reitzes
Date: 02 Oct 2006
Time: 15:06:50 -0500
Remote Name: 69.22.238.4
Kelly, thanks so much for writing. As far as trying to offset or remedy the use of previous negative language, when working with a parent I typically try and model positive language in a way that does not appear as a reprimand to the parent or teacher. As I mentioned in my response to Tabitha, sometimes I will speak very directly to a parent and request that the family begin to replace negative or unproductive language with positive or descriptive language. For example, a few years back I was working with a parent of a fourth grader who I knew well. There was a strong level of comfort and trust. During parent/teacher conferences at the school the mother commented in front of her son and other children, “My son’s stuttering is not as bad as it was last year.” In this situation, I just smiled and said something like, “Oh, you mean last year his stuttering was really good.” I feel that my smile and light manner was important because it signified that I am not reprimanding the parent but am simply offering a more positive language choice. The mother knew exactly what I meant and I could tell in future meetings that she was also focusing on using positive language. As I am writing this answer to you now I have come to realize for the first time that reframing a comment using positive language is similar in some ways to a Van Riper cancellation. In essence, I was attempting to cancel out the negative word and replace it with a more positive word. Take care, Peter.