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From: Peter Reitzes
Date: 07 Oct 2006
Time: 13:52:00 -0500
Remote Name: 69.22.238.4
Ross, thanks so much for writing and for your kind comments. You asked, “How would you suggest handling a situation where a parent or teacher continued to use negative language when speaking about a child's stuttering behaviors/pattern; even when the more positive language is used consistently by the SLP?” One thing I have found is that most families and teachers I have worked with “get it” and do not continue using negative language (at least not in front of me). Some parents and teachers surprise me with how easily they incorporate positive language into discussions about stuttering. In fact, generally speaking, the folks who seem to get the most upset by positive language are some people who stutter and some speech pathologists. I have really only encountered a handful of parents and teacher who did not “get it.” One common concern I hear is about other family members such as grandparents and aunts who continue to use negative language in front of the child. I typically explain to parents that they should discuss what we do in therapy with close family members. These discussions need to include the importance of using positive and descriptive language. One mother I worked with left her son (I will call him Sam) with her parents several times a week. Her parents were not interested at all in changing their routine of giving Sam speaking advice (such as “take a deep breath”) and of openly referring to Sam’s stuttering in negative ways. So the mother finally explained to her parents that she just could not leave Sam with them as long as the negative comments continued. Well, the negative comments stopped real fast. At the time, the grandparents did not “get it,” but they understood the “rules.” At times, I have requested that parents bring in a grandparent to join a therapy session. This is because sometimes, hearing suggestions from a speech pathologist seems to count a lot more than hearing suggestions from a parent. One mother turned to her own mother during a session and said, “Why do you all of a sudden understand when Mr. Reitzes tells you, but when I tell you, you just won’t listen?” In the end, it all worked out well because grandma (an important caregiver in the child’s life) was now “on board.” I once worked with a third grader (I will call him Jose) whose teacher consistently described his stuttering as “mild” and “not a big deal” when I would pick Jose up for speech class. The teacher might say in front of the class, “I don’t know why you are picking Jose up for speech class; he doesn’t stutter.” On several occasions I took my time to discuss the nature of stuttering with the teacher in private. I explained to the teacher that the comments she made were very negative for Jose because he was terrified of stuttering in her class. I explained that Jose reported sometimes saying the wrong answer in class to avoid stuttering on the correct answer. He also reported staying home one day to avoid having to give an oral presentation. Talking to this teacher was like talking to a brick. The teacher was just not open to understanding that some children who stutter show fewer overt characteristics than others because of their fears of speaking. Rather than accept that some children change words, the teacher was certain that Jose was lying about changing answers in class. This teacher was a “worse case” scenario. To make a long story short, the teacher was asked by a supervisor to no longer comment when Jose was picked up for speech class. Basically, it took a supervisor’s persuasion to convince the teacher that she was out line. Interestingly enough, I think the teacher “got it” later in the school year and tried to be more sensitive and change her behavior.