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From: Prakhar Sachan
Date: 05 Oct 2006
Time: 21:32:18 -0500
Remote Name: 202.141.136.155
Hi Steven, I get your point. Incidentally, I held the same view. But, I gradually realized -- and still realizing -- this was counterproductive to my own fluency. I'll try my best answering your questions. You ask: >> "What good can possibly come of being open at work about my speech?"<< A very simple answer to that question is being open about your stutter results in more fluent speech, at least in my case. It has been my experience, the more I tried to hide my stutter, I subjected myself to intense pressure to perform. Performance in the sense that every word I spoke should come out PERFECT -- else they would know! This "pressure" did no good for me, but to make me wilt under it, have my speech worsened, add to my stress levels, and to constantly live under a FEAR. When you acknowledge that you have a stutter, the situation changes. You no longer have to prove to anyone that you're fluent, and you've nothing to hide. As a result, since you're operating from a non performance mindset, there is no pressure. As there is no pressure, you are at ease, in-tune with yourself and the surroundings. As there is no performance linked now, you don't "hold back" from going ahead with your speech. All these factors working in unison contribute towards a system which aids fluent expression (or speech). You further ask: "But if a certain job demands fluency, how can you fault a boss for doubting your ability to get the job done if your are lacking in one of the most important skills required for the job?" Envisage a job interview scenario. Suppose you are asked to introduce yourself. You block/stutter badly on your name. Since you're operating from a performance standpoint, you believe you have not performed. Also, now your "secret" may be out. Negative feelings result. You continue, but then again you block on some other word -- again the same loop. You may not realize but all this is pulling you down and is detterent to fluency. Pause for a moment, and think what goes on in the mind of the interviewer. Since s/he doesn't know about your stutter, s/he is inclined to think -- this guy is weird, he doesn't even know his name! You portray yourself as a confused, uncertain, unsure (etc etc) individual. Just because, your interviewer doesn't know, who you really are! You're fighting against your original identity. Your stuttering gets worse in course of the interview. You leave for home feeling chagrined and loathing yourself. You've blown yet another interview. You self-destruct! Now, imagine a different scenario, where, when you start to stutter severely, you smile and say something like " I have a speech impediment and I'm working towards it. This does not come in my way of living (or working)" Since you've acknowledged your stutter, you nullify two things. Firstly, you have nothing left to prove, that nullifies the performance mode. Secondly, you don't have anything to hide, as such fear vanishes. The pressure associated has dissolved as well. All these, as I've already mentioned, contribute towards a more fluent speech system. More fluency results, and you inherently achieve what you've set out for -- although in seemingly paradoxical way. In effect, you also prove to your employer that you don't allow stutter to stand in your way or living and working! Moreover, you don't even falsely portray yourself as a "weird guy"!Steve, believe me, it took me ages to come to terms with all this. And, as I said before, I'm still on a learning curve! Of-course, there may be times when people may not be so understanding, and things may not look so peachy. It may not work out. But, that is what this life is all about -- isn't it? :-) We've got to deal with it and take it in our stride. Regarding acknowledging your stutter, acceptance, non-avoidance etc, as I've already mentioned in one of my earlier responses, these things don't happen/come overnight. They take their own course of time. But, the key lies in setting out on that path. Before I end, I'd like to point out another important facet of all this -- People react to your stutter in the same way you react to it. Hopefully, I have answered your questions. If not, I'd like to explore this further. In a way, these also serve as a very important reminder to myself! I've found out, it pays NOT to self destruct! Best regards, Prakhar PS - If you wish, you can e-mail me as well. <prakharsachan at gmail dot com>