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From: Prakhar Sachan
Date: 14 Oct 2006
Time: 06:00:03 -0500
Remote Name: 202.141.136.155
Hi Michael, Thank you for appreciating my article. You say: >>”I was wondering if you could talk a little about disclosing your stuttering to familiar and unfamiliar people.”<< To disclose, or not, and how to disclose is a personal decision. In my case, I don't think I have ever disclosed upfront. In fact, disclosure for me always came second, when it was required. For example, being a covert stutter I used word substitutions, fillers, starters, etc in order to hide my stuttering. I knew I have some “hard” words, as such I had found ways to substitute them, or go around them. This worked fine, as far as hiding my stutter was concerned. But, in the long run, without myself even being aware of it, I was compounding my own stuttering. Although, I may have succeeded in coming across as fluent, I had added to my FEAR of that particular situation, or word. I had conveyed to myself unconsciously that I did not back myself! A time came when I was constantly living under a fear. That fear became so omnipresent, it started effecting the way I lived my life, and took decisions. Every decision that involved speaking was being influenced by that fear. What resulted was a vicious cycle, with the FEAR feeding more fear in a sort of negative feedback loop. So, in order to bring my life to order I decided I would TRY not to word substitute, and would say what I wanted to say. I would make a conscious effort towards that. The reason why I have highlighted “try” is because it is a ongoing process from avoidance to non-avoidance. It's not an ON/OFF switch. There are various stages to it. Yeah.... so, because of this guiding principle, I had to say the “hard” words, as they were. There was no way around! This is where the stuttering behavior became more visible. Depending on my audience reaction, for example, if I had stuttered or blocked really badly I would disclose. You see, Michael, coverts became coverts in the first place because somehow they were subjected to the belief that stuttering is “bad” (for the lack of a better word) and unaccepted. Hence it needs to be kept under covers. As such, the word “stuttering” or “stammering” may hold negative connotations for them – a lot of unwanted memories attached. So there may be a lot of initial resistance when disclosing along the lines of “I stutter, or stammer”. Therefore in my opinion a disclosure along the lines of “ I have trouble speaking sometimes” or “I have a speech impediment” etc can be more adaptable and convenient for PWS new to disclosure than something like “I stutter, or stammer”. Moreover, abysmal ignorance exists among the “fluent” population about stuttering. You say: “I stutter” and comments like “you stutter because you are nervous”, or “Even I stutter when I am nervous” are commonplace! One itches to explain to them that it is the other way around, and stuttering is more than that, but drops it because they might never understand or there just isn't enough time to go into intricate details of stuttering. Gosh! I've taken long sessions explaining to my parents and close friends what stuttering is all about. :-) You also said: >>”I have spoken with a few "covert" PWS in the past. They say they like the idea of being more open about their stuttering, but there is no way they could do it because what would their friends think, who'd they'd known years, if out of the blue they started stuttering?”<< It has been my experience, people whom you've known for long always know there is something wrong with your(PWSs) speech – unless the stutter is very mild, where it can be perfectly hidden. It's a different thing, they get used to your talking that way. Or, they might not want to query towards the same believing it might bring forth an uncomfortable situation. As a very good example, one's stutter becomes very obvious on words that cannot be substituted – like one's name. A good way to start talking about it is asking one's friends whether they have perceived dis-fluent speech patterns. Finally, another aspect to be noted is, we all resist change. No matter, how small that change maybe – its human nature to resist it. For some people, covertness has become a way of life, and they have succeded in it. To be more open about stuttering, would mean a drastic change. As such, enormous resistance towards that change. It is here, where they need to come clean with themselves, and ask themselves whether they really are content with the way they are living their lives. The decision to disclose, or not, depends on that answer. In my case, the answer was a big NO! :) I hope I've answered your questions. I wish you the BEST with your career as a speech therapist. Best regards, Prakhar PS: My reply to Steven (“Re: Accepting periods of disfluency”) above might also hold your interest. http://www.mnsu.edu/comdis/cahn_mnsu_edu/9sachan/_disc4/00000017.htm