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From: Ellen-Marie Silvlerman
Date: 08 Oct 2006
Time: 15:23:21 -0500
Remote Name: 152.163.100.69
Hello,Gunars. Well, let me ask you this: What do you consider "perfection?" Over the years, as someone who has behaved as a "perfectionist" and was encouraged to do so by faculty where I attended graduate school and colleagues who comprised the editorial staff of professional journals to whom I submitted papers for publication, I have learned that perfection is someone's notion about what is "right" that may be someone else's notion of what is "wrong." Thankfully, in my efforts to grow and become who I am, I have found that living by a "right/wrong" standard means fruitlessly taking sides which unnecessarily separate me from others and requires expending considerable energy defending myself as "right" and proving another as "wrong" and gaining nothing much except animosity in the process. I find I learn more, contribute more to others' quality of life (and my own), and appreciate life more when I tune into the reality that we all are in the same boat, i.e., all true to ourselves sometimes but not others. So, I would encourage you to consider that judging oneself as perfect or imperfect may not be in your best interest either. You might want to experiment with simple observation of your thoughts and feelings, learning to be present with them, i.e., an itch, an ache, sadness, anger, etc., (unless it is too uncomfortable and then letting go), noting their accompanying physical sensations, watching them come and go, communicating with them to see what they want you to know, etc. Trying to be "right" is a ceasless, unnecessary struggle, in my opinion, that rather than liberating us from unhelpful thoughts and beliefs keeps us running around in circles. Thank you for the opportunity to dialogue a bit. I hope that what I had to say was helpful. Sincerely, Ellen-Marie Silverman