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From: Ellen-Marie Silverman
Date: 17 Oct 2006
Time: 10:13:50 -0500
Remote Name: 205.188.117.11
Dear Rebecca, I appreciate the thoughtful consideration you gave to what I had to say in "Mind Matters;" I felt your sincerity come through your words. And I have no doubt that the clients you work with from the beginning, and throughout your career, will be aware of your sincere desire to be of help to them. To be somewhat uncertain of oneself at the beginning of a career in speech therapy is not unusual at all. It was that way for me and for my fellow students. In fact, some of that uncertainty about how to work with a client is present each time I meet with a new one, and I suspect, for me at least, that is a very good thing because it prevents me from being rote and robotic in my work. But, like everything else, balance is important. The client is appreciative and more open to change with a therapist who appears confident so much so that he or she can attend carefully to them because he or she is not burdened by concerns about how well they are doing what they are doing. That doesn't mean that he or she knows all the answers to every inevitability but that he or she knows how to find the answers for himself or herself. Key personal qualities to being a helpful therapist, I believe, are compassion, kindness, and friendliness. I also believe being able to listen well is very important. Then it is critical to recognize the client as a colleague in the process and to foster mutuality from the very beginning in regard to goal selection, methods used, timelines, etc. I would say to you that instead of investing your energy in your anxiety about not being helpful enough you should consider learning what you think you need to know and what you want to know about disorders, about clinical skills (I think it's great you are enrolled in a counseling course!), and about yourself. Self-knowledge is precious for so many reasons, one of which is that the better we know ourselves, the better we can know others. So, you want to build your knowledge and skill base, which you will do throughout your career, and your confidence, which you also will build throughout your career and life. Based on my experience, working with each new client is an adventure and an opportunity to learn something new. That could be about communication problems, clinical skills, and/or yourself. Release yourself from the concern you do not know enough since you do not know that you do not know enough. If you are determined to do so, and you seem to be, you will learn what you need to know, and you will help your clients, do the same IF they are truly open to learning and doing the necessary work to do so. Be well. Ellen-Marie Silverman