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From: Jim Abbott
Date: 10/16/01
Time: 4:12:58 AM
Remote Name: 64.152.157.133
Well, first off, you asked if I had ever performed any of the songs that I write in front of people. I only write lyrics to songs that exsist in my head. I can not sing, play an instrument, read or write music. Other than that, I am confident that I could have been one of the greatest musicians of all time. Which leads me to say how much I admire you for being able to do something that I can't. Do you write poems and songs about stuttering, about life in general, or a combination of both? Have you ever read/sing your stuttering poems/songs in front of others? I can relate to a number of things you said. About how your speech controls didn't allow you to speak naturally. As hard as it is to accept, stuttering is our natural way of speaking. That's why I've always felt that it's far more beneficial to try to speak with greater fluency, then to try to not stutter. It might seem like it's the same thing, but it's not. Like you, I also had a habit of saying yes to please others. You mention that PWS are "quick on the trigger." Very good point. We are so afraid of the silence of our stuttering blocks, that silence has, in some ways, become our enemy. Whenever I stand up to speak before an audience, I try to make it a point to spend the first 20 seconds or so in silence, making eye contact with everyone. This helps me to establish control of the situation. And when we are in control, we tend to be more relaxed. Final point, at the end of your paper, you talked of how your stuttering was kinda like a visitor. I feel in much the same way. One of my more recent poems was called "Speaking To My Stutter (We Meet At Long Last."); in which I envisioned that my stuttered speech was a person, and that I finally got a chance to sit down and talk to him. It was quite a eye opening expierence. I mean, I knew how I felt about my stuttering, but when you see it written down on paper, it's almost as if your looking at your life thru the eyes of others. It was really wierd. Well, it's 5:10 in the A.M. here, and I got to go to work. I'll be in touch.