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From: Karen Lewis
Date: 10/5/00
Time: 10:27:48 AM
Remote Name: 216.68.47.12
Hello Ann, I can certainly indentify and emphathize with your nurse friend. I, too, was labelled "an extreme introvert" long before entering nursing school - still am although it's now often viewed in my profession more as "quiet, reserved." As your friend, I was communicative with my patients, but not my instructors, then supervisors - as my paper states. Actually, I was terrified of them, and doctors - there's no way to explain that fear.*
On occasion, rarely, I've had situations such as you refer to. One was by policy I accompanied a doctor on a procedure who for his own reasons, wanted no accompaniement, and informed me so rudely in the presence of the patient.
Hurt, angered, humiliated, young - I had to make a decision - one which was nigh impossible for me then - tiny (self-image wise), me next to this giant who (I thought) could really do me damage. But, as he came out of the room, I spoke (trembling, stuttering) to him: "If you have a problem with me again, please do so out of the presence of my patient." I was shocked that this never happened again with this doctor, and I felt after that he showed me respect.
This gave me a bit of courage to not permit myself to be a victim, but to continue to take a stand for myself in the workplace, and not only feel better about my own performance, but also, receive the respect of my co-workers and doctors.
Does it ever get easy. No. Not for me. I still approach situations trembling, heart pounding. Not only am I terrified of the confrontation, but I still fear my speech will somehow add an element of weakness to my stand. But, getting the grit to stand for what one knows inside they have the ability to do usually gains them that privilege. And, this begins to bring out confidence in one's self.
*Doctors: Where in my early years, I could hardly call them - fear, for several years I've been in hospice nursing. I've had several doctors say to me, "What do you want for the patient?" OR "Write the order for whatever the patient needs, and I'll sign it." Doing the impossible to prove myself has been worth it.
I suspect your nurse friend is a terrific nurse, probably much more so than she has been able to communicate to her co-workers and the doctors. I hope she can do that. If my article encourages her, then it was worth it for me.
If I can offer any more to encourage or empower her, please post again.
Karen Lewis