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From: Gunars K. Neiders
Date: 10/4/01
Time: 8:56:29 PM
Remote Name: 12.13.226.11
Steve and Chris,
I really enjoyed the paper as well as the ensuing questions and answers. I have many comments and questions:
1) When I was young and naive I have tried during my milder periods of stuttering to be covert. And I thought that I had succeeded. But when I used a tape recorder I found out that the tenseness and at times even chopiness of small silent blocks was there. I am not sure that an untrained person on the street would have recognized the covered up stutter, but personally listening to the tapes it was apparent to me. Steve, do you know if this is a common phenomenon? Chris, have you ever had your speech recorded either on video or on audio tape and seen in yourself anything like this? A selective audio feedback while talking, but when re-listening on recorded media obvious tense, silent blocks of short duration?
2) William F. Buckley, the former conservative talk show host; Pat Moynihan, the former senator from New York; and Jack Welch, the former CEO and Chairman of the Board of GE (and arguably the best manager of the 20th century) all had slight stutter, each of them unique in their own way, when they were talking on television. However, it did not preclude them from reaching at least their level of accomplishment. My conclusion is that, Steve, you are right, the operational factor is the SEVERITY of the stutter. (Some people have expressed their opinion to me that these dudes did not stutter at all, because some people only call a behavior stuttering if it is a) struggling and tense, b) truly impedes with communication process, and c) has at least some secondary stuttering symptoms such as blinking, head jerks, loss of eye contact, et cetera.
This leads to these questions: Steve, has anybody studied at what threshold ordinary people conceive stuttering as stuttering? Chris, do you think that there was a threshold in your speech which you consider as fluent even though it had a) some elongation of sounds, b) some silent blocks of minimum lengths, and c) some easy repetitions? Steve and Chris, don't you both think that there is a threshold of fluency when a person who stutters openly can present an air of dignity and competence and does not endanger his career? My experience as an engineer for over 35 years has been that I was never held back because of my stuttering which at times was at least moderate in severity.
3) What do you, Steve and Eric, think of my technique evolved from Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy of having a nice self-talk with myself before I enter a speaking situation? I use Humor, Empirical Evidence, Logic, and Pragmatism (HELP) in challenging and disputing my tendency to hide my stuttering. Before I enter a situation I may use one or more of this type of disputational self-talk:
Humor: "Some times you win, sometimes you lose. :-)" "So the person with whom I am talking does not like me, isn't that really his problem? :-)" Or after asking a woman out and hearing her refusal I said to myself, "I guess I will not have any kids by her. :-) Tough. :-)"
Empirical Evidence: "In this situation, AT LEAST, does it really matter if I stutter? Surely I won't ever see this sales clerk again, unless I come back to really make her uneasy for behaving rude to me and pull off a real long voluntary pseudo block! :-)"
Logic: "How could stuttering make me a worthless person? or a worm :-)? Is there really any reason for feeling ashamed if I stutter? Or feel guilty for imposing on them?" (With the help of a good REBT therapist and a LOT of PERSISTENT practice, I finally convinced myself that I can unconditionally accept myself with or without my stuttering, no matter how severly I stuttered.)
Pragmatism: Assuming that I want to squeeze all the productivity, creativity, satisfaction, and pleasure out of this life would not the penalty that I would get from stuttering in this situation and the inconvenience of the effort to get through this block be worth the long term gains of a) not having to fear this particular sound and b) managing to stutter easier?
Again, I thank you both for the pleasure I received in reading this outstanding paper.
Gunars
p.s. Have I become totally without any concern about my speech or what other people think about me by using REBT? No, but I have reduced my fear, anxiety, guilt and shame to feeling only healthy concerned and to the desire to improve.