[ Contents | Next | Previous | Up ]
From: Steve Hood
Date: 10/8/01
Time: 3:05:09 PM
Remote Name: 199.33.133.50
Hi again, Bernie....
Maybe this is better discussed over a beer then on an ISAD discussion. I'll take another stab at it, and then we can each buy a beer for each other in Anaheim next June. I guess it is probably your turn to buy !! :-) I'll try to make this brief.
I do **not** think you should feel shame or guilt for not always advertising the stuttering, but I **do** think some "healthy" guilt and shame should be attached to trying to hide, conceal and cover up.
There are of course situations where it may be inappropriate to advertise. And advertising should not be done simply to gain sympathy and have people feel sorry for you. But being open and honest and tolerant and accepting of some stuttering, and being able to mention this in socially acceptable ways, can be very important.
Bill Murphy, among others, has written and spoken about this issue a lot, and I really hope he will join this thread and add to it.
Advertising does not mean running around with an attitude that all you want to do is beat people over the head with advertising your stuttering. But making a socially acceptable comment to show acceptance can also be helpful in that it may help put the listener at ease.
I believe that listeners feel more ill-at-ease when they know that the stuttering is distressing to the person who stutterers, than when they can tell that the PWS is tolerant, at ease and accepting of his or her stuttering. Advertising, and some voluntary pseudo-stuttering is just one example, can help with this.
People who are willing to talk about stuttering, and even be willing and able to kids and joke about it, tend to show this acceptance. Not all of these will be equally appropriate for all readers, but here are some examples (based on my own experiences, and those of others people, like the Bill Murphy I just mentioned.)
1. Bill tells of the time when some of his younger clients gave him 100 personalized pencils with his name on them: "B-B-B-B-Bill." Bill could give them to people.
2. I have some lapel buttons that I sometimes let clients wear. Examples of what they say include: "Take a stutterer to lunch," and "stutterers do it repeatedly." One of the members of our local support group is a hair stylist. Some years ago, after the local paper did a major feature on our NSA grpoup, she posted one of these buttons on the mirror in her hair salon. At NSA Conventions we learn of people who have purchased Porky Pig Pins, and Porky Pig coffee mugs. In workshops I have given, I show examples of these to the audience, along with my Porky Pig watch that says "th-th-that's all Folks" when the button is pushed. I worked for a time last summer with a guy who was highly interiorized, and as a present, I gave him one of my extra NSA t-shirt from an earlier convention.
Stuttering is *NOT* funny, but as Walt Manning says, It is important to keep a reasonable sense of humor about it.
3. If you are feeling some stress and time-pressure, you might say something like this: "I'm having a rough day in the fluency department, so I hope you will bear with me if this takes a little longer than usual."
Well, Bernie -- this is getting a bit long, and maybe too long for ISAD. (Send me a personal e-mail if you want to continue this in more detail.)
I hope these ideas are helpful to you, and others.