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From: Chris Roach
Date: 10/21/01
Time: 9:38:58 PM
Remote Name: 64.12.102.181
Zeza, what a treat to see your posting. I, too, really valued the opportunity to meet you in Chicago and see you in Boston, knowing we'll have many years to get to know each other better. You're a gentleman and very devoted to help others.
Regarding meeting others' expectations, I think that never goes away. Even this last week, I was out of town all week on an intense consulting assignment and found myself sensing so much pressure to "fit an image" of my business partners. Perfect in communication and content is acceptable only! Anything less is uncomfortable AND criticized, if not by words, by attitude. So I found myself, even last week, falling back into my fear traps of substituting and paraphrasing -- anything to avoid a horrible stuttering binge. Yes, I still stuttered, but sadly, I never said exactly what "was mine." In this case, I didn't fear "being discovered as a stutterer at all," but rather I feared "being discovered to have some severe stuttering." All because of meetings others' expectations, not mine. It's amazing that we battle it every day...
Regarding a person who perhaps appears to be possibly a covert stutterer, but is actually a shy, reserved and unconfident person? I believe that if a person is a confident and poised individual, extroverted perhaps or seemingly outgoing, but they happen to stutter, that they will ALWAYS be outgoing and confident, regardless of stuttering. Conversely, if a fluent person is shy and reserved, but doesn't stutter, they still ALWAYS be shy and reserved, regardless of their fluency. I think those are basic personality traits that will always be our core make-up, regardless of our stuttering. Frankly, many stutterers I know are MUCH more outgoing, confident and proud than many fluenters that I know!
Zeya, thanks again and I look so forward to seeing you in Anaheim. Have a great year!!
Chris