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From: Gunars Neiders neiders@halcyon.com
Date: 10/15/00
Time: 10:21:13 PM
Remote Name: 206.63.38.81
Theresa,
Very good question. The individual adjustment or maladjustment to the problem of stuttering is amazingly varied. Take, for instance, my case.
a) One of my problems was the severity of my stuttering, so I tried sixteen stuttering therapies. Always optimistic that the next one would do the trick.
b) I understood that my shyness and introversion was also an independent problem. So I tried Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy. And I started to work on that. Now there is nobody who could call me introverted.
c) Perfectionism was another problem of mine, which I worked on with the tools provided by the above mentioned psychology. When I stopped demanding being perfectly fluent, I was able to gain what I consider marvelous ease in speaking, although not total fluency.
d) Lack of a sense of humor about stuttering was the next thing I worked on. Now my irreverent sense of humor gets me into trouble. :-)
e) Self-discipline is the thing I am going to work on now.
I guess my current spontaneity in daily situations, where I talk to everyone I come in contact with, where people are completely at ease to tease me a little about my speech, my not internalizing what others say if they have malice in their heart, was evolved due to my own hard work. It was not given to me free.
I think your friend earned his spurs. He, just like I, probably saw that life is both a moveable feast and at times a pain. Stuttering, when managed properly, both working on one's own attitudes and speech techniques, is nothing more nor less that one of the many, many characteristics that are part of the total human.
When a human loses optimism that he can cope with stuttering, when he lets life slide by, it is time for that person to see a good cognitive psychologist. This is not a dress rehearsal, this is it. :-)
Gunars