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You Never Had A Problem !!!

From: Viren Gandhi
Date: 10/8/01
Time: 3:04:17 AM
Remote Name: 202.54.115.162

Comments

You Never Had A Problem !!!

I am Male 31 PWS from Mumbai, India. I have avoided many things till date including using phone. Though as one grows up, family including Brother / Sisters should become aware of problems which PWS faces in his day to day life. But somehow, they do not always notice. And PWS often hides by inventing hundred of tricks. I remember one of my late friend, who when used to have a Drink (Alchohol), would say so when he would go home. So his all family were aware of it. But seldom such things ever happen with respect to Person's stuttering in his/her family.

Who is to blame for that ?

PWS , who though is Adult and supposed to realise, fail to realise it. And then some day it comes to him as Shock Treatment. His family has some or other problem with his ways , which he invented because of stuttering. Stuttering , off course , ruled his life. He/She lives in denial.

Marty has often used word "Neurotic". I when has to buy Medicines from Shop, would be unable to buy by saying so would note down on Paper and then go. I would tell people in my family that I forget Names so I note down. But in reality, we have a memory so sharp that we would never forget it. Every PWS has Hundreds of such examples to give.

His/Her Family Doctor didn't guide him to competent speech therapist or may be therapy was too expensive or there was no competent speech therapist available. This could be common problem in Third World Countries. There might be help available in Major Cities but what about Interiors?

And life of PWS goes on. He has resigned to his fate. He may not even have even any desire to improve. Then somehow he realises he HAS to improve. His life is going off track. And then he feels each day, he counts each incident, that he was doing wrong because of his life-long problem with stuttering. He starts gaining more knowledge and wants somehow to improve his life and speech.

His family or outside world, still has same perception of him. They still do not grasp Emotional or Psychological Aspect of Stuttering. And situation has often come to such level, where damages done are beyond repair. ( I had learned more about Emotioan Aspect of Stuttering from Internet and Listserve/Mailing List in last 6 months then I might would have learned in my whole life).

Unlike Western countries, social customs in country like India are too rigid. Obedience to Parents, Relatives etc does play important role. There are expectations from PWS , which he fails to fulfill.

He may try. He may make advances.

And then all those, surrounding him would say

"You Never Had A Problem !!!! "

I would urge SLP and PWS community to prepare papers to deal with this aspect in coming years. In clear terms, describe or emphasis , that PWS , when he tries to improves, he is trying Hard. It's really stressful for him. It was never easy for him. There are lapses.

I know and have read plenty of mails, in which, PWSs and SLPs openly acknowledge that they are aware of struggle, which PWS undergoes. Same level of understanding should come in Family/Friends/Relatives of PWS, with whom he has to spend greater amount of time in his life. That can certainly make his/her life much more better.

Sometime back I made one of my Friend read some Article from Stutteringhomepage about Psychological aspect of stuttering. Article talked of Depression, fear etc and had quotes from Van Riper. My friend, though is a school friend of mine, was shocked , cause we have been together a lot still he never understood this all can happen to me.

When exploring Stutteringhomepage, I have come across many articles / Web Pages on Advice for Parents, School Teacher and so on. Is there a page devoted to Advice for Family/Brother/Sister's of PWS , who are Adult and 20- 30 or more old ? All Stuttering Related Site call those PWS as Hard Core Adut Stutterer. Adult Stutterer are also more hard pressed as they have more responsibility on their shoulders. Today's competitive nature in Word makes then more vulnerable. In many cultures, family ties are so strong that lack of understanding by people in your family puts PWS in very odd situation.

Sorry I couldn't Keep it shorter then this.

Regards, Viren Gandhi Mumbai, India E-Mail : viren_gandhi@yahoo.com


Last changed: September 14, 2005