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From: Craig Stephenson
Date: 10/8/01
Time: 9:14:53 AM
Remote Name: 208.129.208.66
A Prison Of My Very Own by Jim Abbott Grey walls surround me Dank,dark and dingy Imposing, intimidating, impenetrable Unescapable Razor sharp razor wire Stretching, it seems, for forever Down dimly lit corridors that lead to nowhere In my 6x8 world all alone I stare Desolation, isolation, frustration DAMNATION ! Madly I scream out at my jailer unseen With tears in my eyes Release me, I plead Release me, release me RELEASE ME !! But never do I receive a reply Though in the stifling stillness of the night Ghostly voices I hear rise Forced to live in this fortress of fear Locked away in this life sentence of shame Shackled to this ball and chain Silently suffering in solitary solitude So frightened And so very, very cold Wondering, always wondering Just who is to blame And why? Had I been found guilty of some horrendous crime? A crime that I never did commit Most assuredly, that had to be it Knowing damn well that I was innocent Knowing I had done nothing to deserve all of this Yet still, consigned to spend a lifetime Enduring this punishment And the worst part The very worst part Is never knowing why So very hard to go on at times Feeling sometimes like I'm going out of my mind Planning and plotting Dreaming of escape Praying for the moment when I'll make that final break Decade upon decade of bemoaning my fate
But just when it seemed I had given up hope Just when it seemed I was at the end of my rope Came the realization one day that it wasn't too late
Finally deciding that enough was enough Finally deciding that I had suffered too much Like a man possessed I tore into those walls In a frantic frenzy, I watched them all fall Not ceasing, not stopping, until I was done A lifetime of frustration Unleashed all at once A maniacal madman out of control Exercising the demons that had haunted my soul Suddenly ! I was standing there alone The only one Bathed in the warming light of the sun I paused Then I looked around That cage that had imprisoned me lay shattered on the ground And finally I was free
At last, I understood That nightmare that was my prison cell Had been my own personal hell Those walls never had been real Built not of concrete Nor of steel They had existed only in my mind Forged from the negative feelings and emotions That I kept buried deep inside For when I stripped away All of my hatred and my rage I found no chains, no guards Just one desperate man And some old shadows for bars
So much of my life Wasted Looking and longing Pleading and praying Waiting For someone to lift from me Those bonds of misery For never did I realize Never did I know That it was I, and I alone Who had possessed the key To set my own self free All along
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------- added with permission April 24, 2001
I wish I had your gift. Thanks for all the work you do. It has uplifted me more than you know. Your friend, Craig