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From: Dale Williams
Date: 10/18/00
Time: 4:02:39 PM
Remote Name: 131.91.248.210
B:
Sorry to remind you of what is always a bad experience. Re. having a positive mental outlook, several factors are important. Learning the skill helps, of course. Also, the client/player has to be motivated by the reward at the end of the process. And he has to be patient enough to know it's not going to come right away. It helps too if he deems the process as pleasurable.
I try a lot of things to accomplish these goals, both as an SLP who treats PWS and as a dad with a tennis-playing son. I talk about how losing can be fun because you learn about weaknesses you can then address (to which I get an "Yeah, right Dad"). We discuss how sometimes the point is not to prevail, but to test out new skills. This can also be positive in that the pressure to succeed has been removed. I try to create atmospheres where taking risks is reinforced. Imperfection is stressed--sometimes I show how much worse I can perform the skill in question. I confess chances I wish I had taken. We break down fears to see what we're really worried about. I try to associate the failing with something positive, such as laughter--at ourselves and others. (In a way, I guess you could say I try to make people more arrogant).
As noted elsewhere in this threaded discussion, some take to this stuff more naturally than others do.
In high school I took a typing class. Three of my friends were also in the class & we all sat in the far back corner. Three of us handled the early assignments easily, the fourth lagged behind, typing slowly with numerous errors and seemingly enjoying the verbal abuse we heaped upon him. By the end of the term, however, the abuse had stopped, for he was out-typing us by a wide margin. Why? Because all along he had followed instructions, never looking at the keys. The rest of us never looked anywhere but the keys, so determined were we not to look bad even when it didn't matter. It's easy to see now why Slow Friend bobbled along at the beginning, and why he was the best at the end.
My point with this little story is that SF understood what he needed to do to achieve his goals. He didn't let early failures or know-nothings like me stand in his way.
All this is general, I know. Specific goals depend on who the learner is. I hope I at least partially answered your question. If not, feel free to post again.
Dale