Response to paper! From: Pete Hawkes Date: 10/1/99 Time: 5:07:55 AM Remote Name: 188.8.131.52 Comments David, I very much enjoyed reading your paper. As a 28 year old I am now going through this change also and just recently I have got myself very involved with other stammerers which is helping. It is just so encourging to see that it is possible to turn your life around at any age. People like you give people like me alot of hope, as I am in the early stages of acceptance, non avoidance e.t.c. :0) changes in relationships From: Judy Kuster Date: 10/10/99 Time: 1:56:32 PM Remote Name: 184.108.40.206 Comments David, nice paper! Thank you! You mention that there was a big change in you from your "introverted years" to today when your "approach to life has changed so much that it might have overwhelmed both of us." Do you have suggestions on how you and your wife handled that change, which I suspect could cause problems in a marriage (not yours;-) where the stammerer is no longer the same person that the partner married? Has the self-help movement in the UK (BSA) seen evidence of this happening? I don't know of any studies about divorce following therapy for stuttering, but I wonder. I saw a person who stutters who appeared on nation-wide TV and stated that she had changed so much, "I had to get a divorce." Re: changes in relationships From: Benedikt Benediktsson Date: 10/11/99 Time: 5:24:49 AM Remote Name: 220.127.116.11 Comments Very nice paper David. Judy, I have never seen this discussed, but I agree that this is a very relevant question. After experiencing a great change in your life like David describes, you are not quite the same person. You may discover new possibilities, capabilities and strengths you didn't realize earlier that you had. You may want to change your life, perhaps in a radical way, but your current status and role may stop you from doing that. This could easily affect your relationship, even a happy one, with a spouse, family or friends. Maybe it should be a part of a good therapy process to learn how to deal with your 'new' strengths and possibilities and use them in a positive way! It would be interesting to hear some views on this, especially if anyone has experienced a dramatic change of their situation in life after this change process. Re: changes in relationships From: Walt Manning Date: 10/14/99 Time: 9:48:51 AM Remote Name: 18.104.22.168 Comments Hello everyone- Given all the changes beyond fluency that often accompany successful treatment I would not be surprised that many relationships would be affected- spouse, friends, colleagues, boss, etc. I suspect that the failure of significant others to adjust their roles to the client's changes could be one reason that relapse occurs as often as it does. Of course, it also depends on what the person was like as they entered treatment. I imagine that for many people, changes in the way they see themselves and others requires that many people also "change their position in the lifeboat" or things will get upset.