What does it mean to be a stutterer?

by Matt Goodman

What does it mean to be a stutterer?
Can't talk, can't speak, and can't communicate.
I go though more pain than you will ever know.
My life has been a hard one,
filled with pain, and sorrow, and disgust.
My voice can be changed to British,
to Scottish,
... to Texan,
... to sometimes a New Yorker,
... and yet I cannot speak.
But what is normal?
Is it not being able to speak,
being thought of as a freak,
not being able to communicate your ideas.
Is that normal?
Maybe not for you, but it is for me.
I am a stutterer now and forever,
one of the few, the proud, the ridiculed,
the Stutterer!
I have been a stutterer for 14 years now,
and it has not been easy for me.
I have gone though the pain of childhood.
Elementary school was terrible.
Kids make fun of you,
just because they do not understand you.
Junior High was worse,
The teens made fun of you
because it was accepted,
as normal.
I survived, but why?
Why me?
Why me, to suffer for all these years!
Just because I was born with this?
I know the question all stutters are asking!
Maybe it developed over time,
or yet... maybe... it just happened,
maybe... we learned it,
or better yet... maybe... its just a phase,
or maybe... it is Genetics.
Oh, yes that's the one, huh.
And maybe if there was more knowledge
there would be a cure?
or better yet a cause.
Day and night
Day and night,
Day and night,
24 to 7 you are fluent.
24 to 7 I am not!
I am one of the few, the Proud, and the disgraced.
And you are the Majority, the Normal, the fluent.
This is my life, my challenge, my dream.
Oh, when will this curse,
this wretched curse be over.
I will survive, now and always,
Forever, I will never give up,
my fight for fluency,
for if I do, ALL IS LOST,
but all is not lost, there is hope.
There is always hope.
That is what it means
to be a stutterer.

by Matt Goodman added July 14, 1997