Leaving Home to go to College: Because my family has enough
money, I was fortunate enough to pick a college that was out of state. My
mom, of course, wanted me to choose a school that was as close to New
Jersey as possible. A big factor as to why I picked the Univ. of Colorado
was because of it's enrollment of 25,000 people. I thought that with class
sizes nearing 100, that I would never have to say anything in class or be
called upon or have to introduce myself. That plan worked for the first
semester. My Intro to Psychology class had over 250 people in it. But I
quickly found out that some courses do have small enrollments and that I
would have to do all those things I feared. So, the lesson here is - don't
do what I did. Luckily, it all worked out for me and Boulder, Colorado is
an incredible place to be.
One other thing that I saw as a positive and a negative when going
off to college was that I knew absolutely nobody in Colorado.
That meant (negative at the time) that I'd have to introduce myself to
everybody I met. That is a lot of people in a dorm of at least 500 people.
Because I could pull it off though (positive at the time) I could fake
being fluent. Nobody in Colorado knew I stuttered! If I didn't stutter
outwardly I could pull it off. I know now that I would have had a much
happier and more social time my freshman year if I had been myself,
stuttered, and been fine with it. Constant worrying, plus college work is
not a good combination.
Deciding on a college major: When I first left to go to college,
I had no idea what I wanted to do. So I concentrated on what I did know. I
knew that I had little to no talent for math or science. I knew that I
loved history but at that time mistakenly felt the only thing I could do with a history degree,
basically, was teach history and I didn't feel like teaching was an option
to me since I stuttered. So, I chose psychology as my first major.
Psychology was great! It's the largest major at the University and all I'd
have to do as a psychologist (I thought) was nod my head every now and
then. Plus, psychology was interesting enough to me that I could get
through the coursework.
At the end of my sophomore year, however, a professor of mine
discriminated against me because of my stutter. To fight against this
professor I looked for help and found out about the Speech-Language and
Hearing Sciences department here. I had always thought that I would never
major in that because I am the kind of person that speech pathologists
treat, not the other way around. With the help of Dr. Peter Ramig at the
SLHS department, I became very excited about speech pathology and about
stuttering in general. I became involved in the National Stuttering
Project and I started speech therapy with Dr. Ramig. I still have a mild
to sometimes moderate stutter but I now see my stuttering as a bonus for
me instead of a hinderance. Who better to understand stuttering than
someone who stutters? Only some rare people who don't stutter can grasp the
full emotional and psychological impact stuttering has on someones life. I
believe that it is also important for me to improve my stuttering to
better help others. I have been successful thus far and I will continue to
work on my speech until I don't worry about it anymore. My plans for the
future include getting a masters degree in speech pathology and then going
on to get my Ph. D specializing in stuttering. I want to be involved in
the neurophysiological research being done on people who stutter as well
as be a clinician and a professor. Those are very high goals but one of the things I never thought
possible has already happened for me: last year, I married a very
beautiful woman who loves me and who tries her best to understand my
stuttering. Since I brought up marriage, I have to talk about the one
thing about the wedding, which scared me a lot. The vows! I wasn't
like most people and nervous at all about getting married and the whole
forever commitment thing. I was extremely nervous about the vows and
the exchanging the rings speech. Our wedding was in front of 150 people
on top of a mountain - so we had microphones which made me really
nervous. We informed the minister about my stuttering, but he was not
very understanding. For example, I blocked on my wife's name during
the ceremony and the minister actually whispered her name to me like I
had forgotten it! I wanted to kill him - but everything went on with
no problems. Since we videotaped our wedding, I've gone back and
counted that I stuttered about seven times during the ceremony. Did it
ruin my wedding? Nothing can be further from the truth. The whole
time I was looking into the eyes of the one person who really mattered
and who understands and loves me - my wife. I'm writing this because
when I was a teenager, I thought that stuttering during my wedding was
a huge deal and I would do anything to speak fluently. Now, I realize
that the words in the vows and ring ceremony are what's important. Not
how you say them.
If anyone has any questions about anything or just wants someone
to chat with, please write! Andy Floyd
added February 5, 1996
edited November 2, 1999
updated January 29, 2007