added August 4, 2001
For a long time I was a loner and didn't have many friends. I just
couldn't talk to people I wasn't really comfortable with. Then my
freshmen year in high school I discovered drama. The first time I got up on the stage to say my lines it was like magic. NO stutter at all. Not a bit. The words just seemed to flow off my tongue. For the first time in my life I could say what I meant and not worry at all.
And I found that I could take the confidence I learned on stage
with me. I think it was the knowledge I could be someone who didn't stutter that gave me the courage to do all the things I wanted to do. It was the flirty Dorcas from "Seven Brides for Seven Brothers" who talked to that cute guy in class, or brave Hodel from "Fiddler on the Roof" who joked and laughed with her friends.
I still stutter but it's not so bad now. My best friend in the
world finishes my sentences for me when I get in trouble and I like it. It makes me feel good to know somebody knows exactly what I mean. I just graduated with honors from high school. I'm going off to college soon and I know I'm going to be okay. I dated my first boy, got my first kiss, starred in my first play, and learned that stuttering is not who I am. I was able to make some very close friends who love me and and care about me. All because of a speech therapist and the stage. Acting opened up so many doors for me. I just wanted other people to know that they can help themselves and be who they are and not worry about what other people think.
added August 3, 2001
I hate it. Now it is very bad. It's never been so bad before. I
can`t say a sentence without stupid sounds coming out of my mouth.
I cannot stop them. Sometimes I feel like suffociating. My
granparents told me to stop those embrassing sounds and stutter
freely. I couldn`t say a word, somehow managed to squeeze my lips
into a polite smile and quickly walked away, bursting into tears.
Other people tell me to arrange the words in my mind before I
start to say something. That really annoyes me. For goodness sake - I
know EXACTLY what I want to say.
They also say: ,,Take a deep breath." That doesn't help either. I
breathe in deeply - and the lot of air gets stuck and can`t go out with
the words.
Well, people surely don't mean it badly. It's my fault, that I
don`t (and can`t) explain them, how things are.
Kids who stutter aren't stupid. Kids, who laugh at them, are. But I`m
sure they aren't really bad. Don't give it up, guys!!!
Marie
My name is Jessica, I'm eighteen, and I've stuttered for as long
as I can remember. When I was younger it was really bad. I wouldn't talk or participate in conversations simply because I couldn't tolerate the stares. I was in speech therapy from first grade to tenth. My speech teacher from third grade to tenth is probably one of the best people I have had the pleasure of knowing. She listened to me when I was upset I couldn't read aloud in class, because I loved to read soooo much. Still do as a matter of fact. She held me when I cried because my parents were getting a divorce when I was 12. She was always there for me. I knew there was at least one person out there who didn't judge me by the way I talked. My mom would always tell me to slow down and I hated that. I wanted to say to her, "You just don't get it. It doesn't matter what you say I'm going to be this way."
I am 17. I've been stuttering for 11 years now. What an awful number!
added October 12, 2000