Frankie Jones

The following "Rap" is by Frankie Jones and is added here with permission.

"A Day in My Shoes"

VERSE 1

Imagine loosin' every friend you've ever had;
your role model, doesn't even like your music, and he happens to be your dad;
yeah, that's bad;
but it gets worse;
I've stuttered since I was little, so everytime I speak, I'm fightin' with a curse;
non-stutterers, you don't know my pain;
how could you?;
if you could taste the struggle for one day........would you?;
My heart will forever be with the NSA children;
and I must watch my words close because I know that they listen;
They make fun of the way you talk? baby I know what they do to ya;
I'm 25 years old and stand scared of my future;
crying through these songs, is the way that I vent;
and I write my verses so hard, I leave the pens bent;
so if it's heaven sent;
then please show me a sign;
I've deleted all darkness from my lyrical rhymes;
you should share that you stutter, like you share your religion;
there is nothing to shame, so let yourself out that prison!!!;
We may stutter in different ways, yet we share the same secrets;
keeping the way we truly talk hidden so the world would never see it;
well, believe it or not- but you can take it from me;
the day you no-longer hide your speech, is the day you are free;
never too old or young, for lessons to be learned;
although it seems, respect is given.... respect is earned;
you may have never thought stuttering could get this deep;
well I've come tonight to show you just how dark it can be;

CHORUS:
A Day in my Shoes;
So you can see what I live through;
It's time to show the world, bring your family and friends too;
for too many years, I shamed the way that I talked;
Now follow me!!!!! and we can make it out the dark baby!!!;

(((((REPEAT)))))

VERSE 2:

Is there anyone out there that can help me?;
loan me some strength so I can make it through;
so when I'm talking covert, help me out the whole I fall into;
Fears of embarrassment, visions of being mocked as a kid;
substitute my words, frustration, explains the life that I live;
I'm so focused on fluency, I don't even say what I mean;
but when I fight through my blocks, I don't like what you see;
my head jumbles, my mouth twist, our eyes loose contact;
I watch you talk so easy and wonder......how can you do that?;
we take for granted what we don't struggle for;
the conference gave me a taste of new freedom;
now I'm looking for more;
You see now I speak my mind y'all; and I swear that I love it;
If I stutter- I stutter, no longer will I be afraid of your judgments!!;
My story's no different than yours;
it's only in rhymes and beats;
as I stand before you; a man with disfluent speech;
wondering and thinking, why is the reason I talk this way?;
put my songs in a bag and sent them out through the U.S of A;
As a child I was laughed at, and that feeling brought anger;
I was afraid to talk, so it was hard to make friends out of strangers;
and who am I?;
My name is Frankie Jones;
I've stuttered all my life, welcome to my song;
my father, my childhood hero, don't think he saw the same;
because when I spoke to him, his eyes told me he was ashamed;
but who's to blame, huh?;
some say it's genetic;
You don't have to understand my speech, I just ask that you RESPECT IT!!!;

(((((((REPEAT)))))))

VERSE 3:

If you've ever had a hard time speaking, then you will understand these painful minutes;
And if I loose you, I'll bring it back from beginnin';
All my life I've been ashamed of my speech;
there was levels of living, I thought I would never reach;
I've always been thankful, yet I kept to myself;
Am I making new friends?, Moma, I'm scared to introduce myself;
friendship with the boy who stuttered, come on, how could that last?;
because when I talked to my friends, I watched how they laughed;
and I never let them see me hurt, I just held it inside;
Until I held it so long, that my eyes where forced to cry;
and this only made matters worse, because now they knew how to get to me;
I remember squeezin' my Moma and asking, " Why do they pick on me!!!!"
I've been scared for so long, how do you spell courage?;
I'm faking my strength because my hopes have been buried;
in doubts and disbeliefs, how dare you not support me;
they write songs for money, I write songs for you and me;
I wanna be free;
from this prison I was born into years ago;
even if I have good behavior, stuttering will never let me go;
so here I stand, trapped in nightmares and disconfusion;
I appear to be strong now...do not believe this illusion!!;
I fought the world, never took time to ask why they hate me;
before I go to sleep, I pray my angels save me;
total confidence in myself, everyday I seek this;
yeah, you hurt me with your words, but you will never see my weakness;
so called friends, they left me on the spot;
now I've gotta stay strong, because see now...I'm all I've got;
and if I quit now, then my story ends here tonight;
I wont let that happen!!!!;
so I speak my words with all my might!!!;
wrong or right;
this is the hand, that life has dealt me;
and before it's over y'all;
I just hope that you felt me;
I gave up everything I believed in!!!!!;
I'm crying to the Man in the Mirror, he's looking back at me with a grin;

(((((REPEAT)))))

By: Frankie Jones
Copyright 2003

MAN IN THE MIRROR

Why don't you tell me who's to blame for my stuttered speech?
some say genetic; others say it's caused by hectic lifestyles...
aaaaahhh just faget it;
cause nobody understands the true meaning;
give me books and videos, but I still find myself screamin';
for a answer; that it seems I cannot find by myself;
so I found Dr. Healey and begged for his help;
This pain in my heart sometimes I've gotta let go;
and if you read real close, you might hear my crushed soul;
So they wanna know...what a block feels like;
It's like in the middle of your sentence somebody grabs your windpipe;
your jaw locks, you can't breath ..your heads spun out;
And all this madness caused from a word that you trying to pronounce;
Now in the early days when people had problems that didn't seem norm;
they called em curses because ...they had no answers for'em;
And that's what this is...this is my own true curse;
So when I look in the mirror...I tell him it hurts.
I wanna show the world I stutter, but I know what you'd say;
So when we have conversations, sometimes I look away;
Because I don't wanna see your reaction on the way that I look;
and the pain you read this moment is hard to hold in a book;
Sometimes I stutter hard y'all, right from the very beginnin';
I know what I'm gone say, you don't have to finish my sentence;
I stand before you with ease, don't let it fool ya;
I'm a stutter for the rest of life, I have become scared of my future;

Chorus.

THIS IS THE WAY THAT I TALK, I CAN'T HELP WHO I AM;
AND IF I COULD, I WOULDN'T CHANGE WHO I AM;
NOW IF YOU'VE NEVER STUTTERED YOU MAY NOT UNDERSTAND;
I HATED THE MAN IN THE MIRROR;
NOW I ACCEPT WHO I AM;

((REPEAT))

2nd. Verse-

This is why I make music; it comes so easy to do it;
I write a song everyday; because I love to be fluent;
I got dreams to achieve; and it's time to go get em;
I speak my words out loud now and hope that you feel em;
talking in public places?; nawl, I would leave it alone;
and when I stayed home; I didn't even answer the phone;
I was afraid of what might happen when I picked up;
so many pauses in my voice the other end would just hang up;
Tears would roll slowly down my cheeks;
run to bed and curl myself up in my sheets;
trying to figure out this disability;
....yeah, I played it off;
but on the inside; it was killing me;
are you feeling me?; or am I just one of a kind?;
I don't think so, anyone who stutters should feel this rhyme;
see in time; I learned to be stronger about my situation;
now I use tools to help my motivation;
continuos phonation; as I speak out my sentence;
from an easy onset I used back in the beginnin';
I'm tellin' you...nothing is impossible to achieve;
just look at me..living proof of what happens; when you believe.

Sometimes I feel less than worthy;
crying to myself because it hurts me;
as my mind replays the faces of those who heard me;
my head jumbles back, and my first syllable is repeated;
I got something to say.....I..I I I...I just can't speak it;
It's like something inside holds me back;
well would you please let go, and could I please have my voice back!!;
living as a man today, I just wanna live good;
still having the effects from a wounded childhood;
everyday I was laughed at, I reached a point I couldn't take the pain;
so in junior high, I just used my middle name;
I even made imaginary friends just for me;
so when I spoke, no one would laugh at me;
Then one day, I found a way;
to live my wish- I wrote a song....I been writing ever since;
See when I'm rappin', I'm something else; I'm not myself;
but through this music, I've found a way to love myself;
so here I am now living out a new today;
I'd like to thank you for the invite to the NSA convention;
rapping loud-for all of you to listen;
to the story which I shared for the parents down to your children;
but let me leave you with one note; one final quote;
when your at home and your feeling down on your hope;
you find a mirror, bring all your pain leave none aside;
look into your eyes and repeat my lines...

TELL ME IF YOU FEEL ME!!!!!

added October 28, 2003