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Are you listening?

International expert Nanette Johnson-Cursikis shares tips

If you’re like most people, you probably are not listening as well as you could. Some tips from international listening expert and speech communication faculty member Nanette Johnson-Curiskis could help.

2007-12-11
From the Minnesota State Colleges and Universities magazine, fall 2007

If you’re like most people, you probably are not listening as well as you could, says Nanette Johnson-Curiskis, a speech communication professor at Minnesota State University, Mankato.

The consequences of poor listening habits can be significant, especially for couples. It can lead to misunderstandings, mistrust, stress and tension in a relationship, she said. Johnson-Curiskis teaches good listening habits in her “Effective Listening” course at Minnesota State University, Mankato, one of only about 30 universities nationwide that offers such a course.

“It’s important to teach people how important listening is,” she said. “My course makes people aware of the different kinds of listening and the pitfalls of poor listening habits. Most of what I do is teach teachers how to be good listeners and how to pass that on to their students.”

So who listens better, women or men? The answer, she said, is neither.

Men and women listen differently, she explained.

The biggest difference is in how they exhibit verbal and nonverbal communication while listening.

Women tend to use a lot of verbal and nonverbal communication, such as nodding their heads saying “uh-huh” and asking for details. Men, on the other hand, often use very little verbal and nonverbal communication, which can give the impression that they’re not listening.

While men’s lack of verbal and nonverbal communication may make them look like they’re “spacing out” when they should be listening, women may communicate too much, which can be interpreted by male speakers as interruptive, she said.

Johnson-Curiskis, who in 2005 was chosen the International Listening Association’s Outstanding Listening Educator of the Year, offers these tips for better listening:

• Stop everything and listen. Stop watching TV. Stop cooking. Stop working on the car. Give the speaker your undivided attention.
• Men should use some verbal and nonverbal communication, such as nodding their head and uttering an occasional “uh-huh.” Women should cut down on their communication.
• Don’t think about your response when you should be listening. Concentrate on what the person is saying and the emotion behind the message.
• When you are speaking, watch your listeners’ nonverbal communication. If they look confused, ask if they need a better explanation or additional information.
• There’s a good time to listen and a bad time. If you’re about to leave for an important engagement or are in the middle of stressful work, it is probably not a good time to listen. Ask if the conversation can take place later.

For more Minnesota State Colleges and Universities stories, go to http://www.mnscu.edu/media/publications/pdf/mnstate_magazine_fall07.pdf

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