Signs of her remain.
Her spirit is in the ornate bead work that hangs from the living room ceiling in Peter Ngor’s Mankato apartment. And inside the framed photograph — the one showing her standing by his side — taken the day he graduated from Bethany Lutheran College.
Signs of her loss remain, as well. On a recent afternoon, with his six children at a relative’s house (Nyabuony Jal, 16, Paul Jal, 9, Gatwech Jal, 7, Ngor Jal, 4, Nyaluth Jal, 1, and Goy Jal, 6 months), he sat alone watching a home video shot at a family gathering in Africa.
Still, Ngor, whose wife Rebecca Tulow was killed in a mid-December crash, has reason to be thankful.
When Rebecca died, Ngor said help and encouragement poured in from around the region. Sudanese, both relatives and friends, from as far away as Des Moines came to offer consoling words and any other support he needed.
“This is a very hard time for me, so we need to be together to take care of our children,” Ngor said. “It’s God’s plan. I could not do anything about it.”
One of the hardest parts of his situation, he said, is his schooling. He’s one semester away from completing a bachelor’s degree in social work from Minnesota State University (not South Central College as previously reported). His going back to school was Rebecca’s idea. She encouraged him to go to school, and agreed to be the one to go to work and earn money for the family.
She worked seven days a week, Ngor said, and in fact was on her way home from work when her car skidded into an oncoming semi.
Cecil Gassis, a Sudanese immigrant who works for the Mankato YWCA, said many donations came into the YWCA after the community learned about the tragedy and the situation Ngor was left with.
“We had people asking if they can have an account open so they could help Peter finish school,” Gassis said. “One person gave him $400 just for school.”
About $3,000 in cash has been donated, but money hasn’t been the only form of generosity shown. Gassis said they’ve also received extra garden harvest and gift cards for groceries or Shopko. A local lawyer offered legal help for Ngor as he navigates the complex world of auto insurance.
“We got a card from an anonymous person with $500 in cash,” Gassis said. “It’s really good to know the community really stood up and helped this family in this tragic situation.”
Another woman involved in the crash, Mary Kok, was finally released from St. Marys Hospital in Rochester. She has broken bones in one of her arms and legs.
When Gassis asked Kok what she needed, Kok said clothing. All the clothing she had was cut away from her by rescuers at the crash site. Shopko donated a gift card to her so she could buy clothing.
The response from the Mankato community has surprised Gassis. “I honestly didn’t now that people would care that much, especially with the economy like this,” she said. “It’s nice to know that people acknowledge immigrant families and refugee families. It makes us feel a little bit at home away from home.”
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