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From: Alan Badmington
Date: 22 Oct 2004
Time: 02:18:44 -0500
Remote Name: 81.77.105.45
Hi Anita, Hey! - I can't believe you're actually saying nice things about me. It must be the fact that you have just returned from your Spanish holiday and are feeling in a benevolent mood ;-) No, seriously, Anita, I greatly appreciate the generous sentiments that you have expressed. I believe that avoidance (and word substitution) contributed enormously to the way in which my stutter developed. For so many years, I thought I was being clever (or cool, as they say nowadays) whenever I selected a word that I felt was easier to say. But I didn't realise that I was, in effect, making things worse for myself. Every time I substituted a word, the fear just grew and grew. But (as I try to explain in my verses) there comes a time when you can't avoid that particular word. The situation demands that you have to say it. When this happened to me, it was a disaster. As you know, I have not avoided a word/sound/letter/situation for more than 4 years. It was a great challenge at first, but now I can use whatever word I wish. It is so liberating - and involves far less energy and effort ;-) I only wish that someone had explained it to me when I was younger. If I had read a poem like mine when I was a child, I believe that I would not have struggled for so many years. Chris's wonderful illustrations will allow everyone (not just children) to gain a better insight into the message that I am trying to convey. I'll email you privately about including it on your website. Thank you, once again, for your heartening words. My love of the written word developed as a direct result of my stuttering. It was always so much easier to express myself in that manner. I thoroughly enjoy my involvement within the international stuttering community - the past 4 years has been truly memorable. I've met so many delightful people - including yourself, of course. (I thought I'd better reciprocate and say something nice about you too) ;-) It is my earnest hope that others may derive benefit (however small) from some of my experiences. If it assists just one person - then it will all have been worthwhile. Your tireless work in relation to stuttering is also greatly appreciated. Thank you for taking the time to contribute to this discussion. Hope to see you at the Nordic Conference in Sweden next August. Take care Alan