Like Yourself, Believe in Yourself, and Work Hard to Reach Your Goals

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Re: Question

From: Gunars
Date: 13 Oct 2004
Time: 23:15:27 -0500
Remote Name:


Dear Aunie, Family support is very important in the early childhood. It would be nice if the parents would be very patient and give enough time for a child who stutters to talk. Also in other areas of behavior if the parents would separate any mistake that the child does from the fact that they love him or her. For example, if the older child hits a younger child or another child, the parents should calmly say, “Hitting is a no-no. You will have to go to your room for five minutes. We still love YOU, but we will not let you hit other people.” The parents should NOT say, “You are a BAD boy or girl. If you keep doing this we will not love you.” The parents should NEVER equate the whole child’s worth with an action of theirs. “You are a GOOD boy, because you got an A in reading class.” Instead they should say, “We like that you got an A. THAT is good.” Neither should they compare the child with another one. “Johnny got works hard at getting better in soccer. He is a GOOD boy. Why can’t you be more like Johnny?” Asking a child to do always better and better often makes a child feel like he or she is no good (they become what is called perfectionists, and are never happy with how good things turn out). If a child has not had good home support, then it may be necessary for them to see a school counselor or a professional who uses Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy and believes in “unconditional self acceptance”. Unconditional self acceptance is the jargon used by psychologists and other professionals to describe “liking yourself if you stutter or not or if you have any other things that you can’t do well or not”. “Unconditional self-acceptance” also includes liking yourself whether other people like you or not. That was a good question, Gunars

Last changed: 02/21/07