About the presenter: Anita Scharis Blom was born and raised in the Netherlands, but is now married and living in Sweden. She works as a secretary and work on a stuttering project. She states, "I have stuttered since I was 9 and had a troublesome youth, but this helped me to become active at the local chapter, the national board and on European level to help people to feel the world is at their feet."

You can post Questions/comments to the author before October 22, 2004.

A New Day

by Anita Blom
Sweden

My parents are now 81 and have had several operations during the last year. So I felt it's now or never and I sent them the poem. My parents, who have always told me it's my fault, my problem and up to me to solve it, now called me and told me, in tears, they now finally understand what I'vebeen through and why I'm doing all this I do today. SI'll be in Holland over the Easter holidays to finally bring down the wall that has been between us for 30 years (!) and get closure. This feels so good! And that's why I'd like to share the poem with as many people as possible, as it might bring a light or comfort to other people.

At the age of 5
I loved mornings
Mornings meant a start of a new day, a new life
Another day of laughing and playing
Being loved and encouraged
By family and pre-school teachers
With lots of friends and people supporting me
Anxiously waiting for a new day to come

At the age of 10
I loved afternoons
Afternoons meant coming home from school
After a day of teasing and bullying, fear and humiliation
Being ridiculed and put down
By family and teachers
With hardly any friends or support
Anxiously fearing the new day to come

At the age of 20
I loved nights
Nights meant not to be seen, not to be heard
Another night of crying, terrified for tomorrow
Being totally ignored and unloved
By family and even myself
With no friends or support what so ever
Anxiously hoping for the new day never to arrive

At the age of 30
I once again loved mornings
Mornings meant a new beginning, a new period of growth
New mornings of hope and baby steps
Trying to be myself and acknowledge my feelings
Being accepted by family and colleges encouraging me on my new path
With new friends who stutter, support and understand
Anxiously looking forward to a new day to come

At the age ofŠ wellŠ now
I once again love afternoons
Afternoons mean looking back on a day of wider comfort zones and
new challenges
New afternoons of faith in the future and in myself
Remembering how to live, love, laugh and dream again
Being loved, appreciated and even challenged
By family and colleges
With friends and support groups from all over the world
Anxiously waiting for the future to come

At the age of 50
I want to look back at those mornings, afternoon and nights
Mornings of being lost, afternoons of being found and nights of being reborn
Days full of love, life and self esteem
To now GIVE love, life and self esteem
To family and colleges
And to now GIVE support to friends all over the world
Anxiously waiting for the next generation to pass it on to

My wish for you is
To look forward to mornings
With hope for the new day to come
To look forward to afternoons
And see the progress you made
To look forward to nights
And feel good about who you are, no matter what
With love from you family
Encouragement from your colleges
And support from your friends and fellow stutterers
Anxiously waiting to help other people who stutter to believe in themselves
And to become the beautiful and powerful person YOU are today

You can post Questions/comments to the author before October 22, 2004.

submitted March 25, 2004

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