CHAPTER I: Peer Counseling Skills
- Essential Concepts in Peer Counseling and Self Help Group
Facilitation
- Coping as a Peer Counselor and Self Help Group Facilitator
- Techniques to Use as a Peer Counselor
Introduction:
Each self help group is different. A peer counselor uses each members
unique
issues and qualities to make every meeting different and interesting.
The flavor of the group
depends on the personality of the peer counselor as well as its
members'. However, there are
some basic concepts and experiences that are common to self help
groups. These are shared
below.
Shared Experiences:
Successful self help group involves shared experiences between the peer
counselor and the member. A PERSON WHO STUTTERS is the expert on his or
her experiences.
motivations and feelings. The peer counselor has similar experiences
that may help to explore
stuttering behavior and personal issues.
Structure:
Self Help groups should provide a safe and comfortable opportunity for
all members
to share ideas and feelings regarding stuttering. Members are
encouraged to share their
experiences. giving them a better chance to understand each others'
feelings and concerns. In
order to better facilitate participation. all members must be given an
equal opportunity to speak
without interruption. Consideration must also be given to the self help
group's agenda and
keeping on task.
Group Size:
The maximum number is more critical than the minimum number for member
sharing. Five to seven is a good size; ten should be the upper limit.
Ten members divided by an
hour of group time works out to six minutes each--not much time for a
member to talk about his
or her life. However. even when a member is not sharing there is still
much learning taking
place. The peer counselor may decide to close the self help group
meeting to "X" number of
participants. Also. when a new member joins the self help group. the
peer counselor must set
aside time to inform him or her about the rules of the self help group.
including confidentiality.
Peer Counselor's Role:
Self help group facilitation is the approach taken which calls upon the
peer counselor to follow the members' lead as they address issues. Peer
counselor can open.
maintain and close discussions, and if necessary, remind members that
all must have an equal
opportunity to share feelings. Peer counselors can also help members
explore feelings and
behaviors brought up in self help group discussion more deeply.
Context:
Peer Counseling efficacy will be improved when peer counselors are able
to bring forth
and explore the context by which members address personal and
stuttering behavior.
Information alone does not lead to behavior change: Behavior
change
is a complex process. Providing information as the sole or main
intervention is generally not
sufficient to lead to changed behaviors.
Neutral stance: It is appropriate for peer counselors to take a
neutral
stance when addressing ambiguous information from members and to
maintain a non-judgmental manner when discussing speech therapy or
personal behaviors.
Options: Effective peer counseling offers options not
directives.
Feelings are Powerful: Feelings are a powerful part of
everyone's
experience. The peer counselor cannot take away a person's feelings or
"THINK I CAN FIX" another's feelings.
Limitations: It is important for peer counselors to recognize
the limitations of their role and act
accordingly.
Within the structure of the self help group meeting some things are
beyond the scope of the peer
counselors experience. Peer counselors need to understand this and be
confident he or she can
refer the member to appropriate resources.
COPING AS A PEER COUNSELOR AND SELF HELP GROUP
FACILITATOR
"Know where you begin and end, and where the member begins and
ends".
Take time to assess your own feelings -- think about how feelings
affect
your peer counseling and your role as a self help group facilitator.
For
example do they:
- allow you to feel more genuine?
- leave you feeling resentful and less willing to provide peer
counseling?
- frighten you? reassure you?
- make you feel inadequate as a peer counselor?
Recognize signals of stress while in the self help group such as
feeling
uncomfortably involved with a member's problems, over-extending
yourself beyond the peer role, feeling hopeless or conversely more
powerful in a situation than is realistic or appropriate or taking on
commitments for members that are beyond appropriate tasks.
Recognize signals of stress beyond the self help group, such as
obsessing
about family or work or feelings of frustration or disappointment.
Identify resources which support you such as consultation with peers or
varying responsibilities in the self help group including sharing
facilitation.
TECHNIQUES TO USE AS A PEER COUNSELOR
Listening and communication skills make up the major part of good
peer
counseling. Below are techniques to use which can improve your
listening and communication skills and help you deal with problems
which might arise in your self help group. The more you practice, the
better you will get at peer counseling.
Open-Ended Questions
You will want to use open-ended questions to keep group
conversation moving and probe deeper
into topics and feelings raised by self help group members. A "closed"
question can be answered
with "yes" or "no" or a simple statement of fact. An open ended
question requires other
information to be answered.
Example:
Closed: "At what age did you first stutter?
Open: "What was going on in your life when you first started
stuttering?"
Benefits of open-ended questions:
- Reveal deeper and more personal issues
- Allow for more peercentered support
- Involve the person who stutters more actively in the self help
group
Drawback of open-ended questions:
- May take more time to get information
- May open up difficult or challenging issues that are not easily
addressed in the self help
group.
Active Listening
"Active listening techniques" include engaging and responding to the
person
who stutters based on something he or she has expressed, either in
words, or in non-verbal actions or behavior.
Not recommended:
1. Repeating words should be used sparingly This is not actually an
active listening technique. Repeating does not give a person who
stutters
a sense of being listened to.
Person who stutters: "When I'm about to speak I get excited and
stutter. It really upsets me."
Peer Counselor: "This just really upsets you."
Recommended:
2. Paraphrasing Saying what the person who stutters has said, using
different words.
Person who Stutters: "When I'm about to speak I get excited and
stutter.
It really upsets me.
Peer Counselor: "It's very distressing."
3. Reflecting: Expanding on the topic, adding in an
acknowledgment or exploration of feelings
or unstated thoughts.
Person who Stutters: "When I'm about to speak I get excited and
stutter.
It really upsets me.
Peer Counselor: "Yes, I can see that and I wonder if you might be
angry
about it, too."
4. Interest: Expressing genuine interest in the circumstances
of a person who stutters and
inviting further disclosure.
Person who Stutters: "When I'm about to speak I get excited and
stutter. It really upsets
me."
Peer Counselor: "Help me understand what it is like for you when you go
through this
experience. Can you give me a picture of what a typical stutter would
be for you--how
you feel when you start thinking about speaking, what happens once
you're aware of
these thoughts or "how do you feel upset?"
5. Reframing: Offering an alternative way of looking at a
situation, usually one that is more
constructive and positive.
Person who Stutters: "When I'm about to speak I get excited and
stutter. It really upsets
me.
Peer Counselor: "Yes, you're miles ahead of someone who does not have
those feelings
and isn't willing to be aware of them. And being upset about your
stuttering is a good
sign because it means your instinct to take care of yourself is really
kicking in."
6. Interpretation: Making some inference that has not been clearly
expressed by the person who
stutters. This is a more advanced skill, best left to trained
professional therapists. Additionally.
while interpretation is an important technique in therapy, it has less
applicability in the self help
group. Even skillful peer counselors usually don't know enough to make
successful
interpretations. Simply, don't analyze the motivations of others.
Person who Stutters: "When I'm about to speak I get excited and
stutter. It really upsets me.
Peer Counselor: Perhaps what is really upsetting you is the guilt
and shame you feel about stuttering."
7. Process: This skill involves listening. reframing. and
expanding what the person who
stutters said musing a question.
Person who stutters: "When I'm about to speak I get excited and
stutter.
It really upsets me."
Peer Counselor:"How come this upsets you?"
Person who stutters: "I feel stupid?"
Peer Counselor: "How come you feel stupid."
Person who stutters: "I really don't know when to start speech
therapy?"
Peer Counselor: "You don't quite know how to begin....
Person who stutters: "I don't know if this group is worth it?"
Peer Counselor: "You feel?"
Person who stutters: "I don't know who is good as a speech
therapist?"
Peer Counselor: "You're unsure of the kind of speech
therapy you want?"
8. Attending Behavior. This skill involves eye contact.
posture and
verbal and non-verbal cues.
Eye contact may vary from person to person. So a peer counselor can't
assume because a person doesn't look you in the eye. that she or he is
hiding something.
What posture should a peer counselor take? Whatever posture is
comfortable for you. Be you.
Are there verbal and non-verbal cues peer counselor can use? Try
"us/huh" "hmmm." Also non-
verbal cues are smiling. looking puzzled. nodding. or leaning forward
in interest. Be you.
9. Summation. This is a combination of one or more phrases and
includes a reflection of feelings.
A peer counselor ties together content and feelings and tries to put
things in perspective and
identifies important trends, conflicts and possible decisions. Peer
counselors must be aware of
the biggest danger:
DISTORTION. Therefore, check periodically with your member for
accuracy. Also, be prepared
to focus on the positive aspects of the situation and don't feed into
the negative aspects.
Problem Solving
If a problem arises between group members, here are a few hints for how
a peer counselor could
handle the situation.
1. Identify feelings of members using the techniques outlined above.
2. Defuse the situation and encourage "airing out" of feelings
A common problem in self help groups is that one group member is
especially judgmental or
monopolizes the self help group. A peer counselor may follow these
suggestions:
1. Talk with the person outside of group about your feelings and
perception.
2. Discuss options regarding how to maintain a supportive environment.
3. Come to a joint resolution on how each person is an important
support
to another
Awareness: Maintain your awareness of feelings. This alone may
not be enough to keep
difficulties from arising in the meeting.
Observation: Acknowledge the feelings.
Peer Consultation: Share experience with colleagues and express
your frustration, as well as
gathering information for dealing with such situations.
Mentoring: Share experience with a more experienced colleague
especially if there is a
continuing issue with an ongoing member.
Referral: If your feelings are strong and interfering with
ability to provide "good" peer
counseling and after consultation the situation has not improved.
Recommendation: Refer this member to another support group, seek
professional assistance or
ask members' from the self help group a consensus on the situation.
What if a self help group facilitator runs out of
things to say?
Let the members lead, and you follow. Check in with members as to how
they are feeling or
what they want to do next. Remember you are the facilitator not a group
leader and do not need
to control the conversation. As a peer counselor, ask questions that
may increase knowledge of
your members' concerns. Go with the flow of the conversation and avoid
changing subjects just
to fit into the agenda if the conversation is productive.